Night of the Granny Smith
Per Mikey's request I shall put this story down for all time:
It was a normal night, no full moon, no solar flare, no drugs or alcohol to explain the strange behavior I witnessed. Dr. Reefer and I were at a supermarket in the Great and Shiny Town of Temecula, I don't recall why, probably pricing booze. We wander aimlessly among the aisles, the wares shiny under so much celophane and flourecent light. Two girls amble down the aisle, we check them out, not much going on, and go about our perusal of doritos or something. Just then from behind us :"You ladies come here often?" Slightly perturbed I looked down the aisle and the companions of the females had entered the snack section and were farting around with their girl(ish) friends; "Hey, yo-hoo, girls." Now the good Dr. did not remember the girls and thought that these 2 douche bags were yelling at us! He was muttering under his breath (and I understand the source of his anger, we had been similarly acosted before.) "Sonsabitches, I'm gonna fuck them up, mother fuckers...!" I tried to explain to him, yet he was not having any of it, he was to far gone in some primal berserker state, well not to primal. He followed the duo, who were following their girls, I tried to keep up with Dr. Reefer. We were now in the produce section, heres were the "not too primal" part comes in. The offenders of Reefer's honour were now nearing the exit, and he took this last opportunity to arm himself.with the first thing to be found at hand.....a medium to smallish grany smith apple.......
"What was that, you bitches?" was the battle cry, by this time they are too far out of earshot, and I am standing in front of him denouncing him a simple minded asshole, a jag-off freak, a monkey-assed-dog-fucker, and a man certain to be maimed by all four of the people he was about to thorw fruit at, cuz I wan't going to help and I was about to tell him why. I implored him to hear something very important that I had to say. The fury wanned as he looked at my eyes and saw the tone of utter seriousness. "WHAT, those cocksuckers are getting away, oh wait, cameras...shit!!!" "No" I said, "They weren't speaking to us."
"They...." "Yes, asshole, they weren't even talking to us and you were about to assault them with produce!"
Coming soon!!!!! Part 2 The Trip to In and out that almost wan't